Remember this saying from when we were kids? A brilliant retort to being called out! Anyone calls me a cry baby, or a meanie, or chicken shit we just simply have to reply “It takes one to know one!” and no one could ever say anything back! What are they going to say to that? A brilliant fear-based defense mechanism designed to keep us safe in that moment. In this moment there has been a recognition of pain that both kids share and two becomes one. In fact, its what they have in common although its not that obvious at first.
We can directly apply “Takes one to know one” to the double iceberg. If someone calls me out for openly acting out a crybaby and my reaction is to say "takes one to know one!", then that would simply imply that deep down I already know on some level this is true about me as I am using cry baby openly to get what I want. Now on the other hand, it takes a crybaby to recognize a crybaby! So the person who felt the need to call me a cry baby is hiding their own cry baby! The original experience of crybaby is judged as painful, so in that original moment the mind has two choices, hide it or show it. And all in a desperate attempt to protect themselves from ever experiencing this again. The person who is hiding the cry baby needs others to act this behaviour out openly as they are not willing because it is too dangerous to their survival.
The time may come for me to work through my need to either attach to or reject this. I will manifest another who will mirror back this judgement of myself. This may not always feel like an opportunity, but it doesn’t mean its not! The opportunity has presented itself for me to be able to become aware of the reflection that I have rejected, understand that I have a judgement (safe/dangerous) and that in that moment the whole strategy is flexible enough in the mind, for my heart to be able to embrace the whole thing and store the wisdom, without the need to change, fix, replace anything, as there was nothing truly wrong in the first place.
Yes, our minds have some trust issues! But by being willing and open to recognizing the truth of Takes one to Know one, the mind begins to soften as the hearts reply to the minds fear is always the same. I love you!!!
Whether the behavior is suppressed or whether its being outwardly shown, both sides of this hold a judgment. For one it may be safe to wear the mask of crybaby, in this case the mask helps me to get what I need in order to feel safe. For some it’s safer to suppress it, so that no one will ever find out that I am secretly crying all the time.
Either way when the two meet and a conflict arises, it’s a opportunity for both sides to reach a internal understanding that the judgment of crybaby as safe or dangerous is the only conflict. One will wear the mask (safe to show) and the other will hide the bottom (never ever show it), both are strategies for safety.
For example, If I am the one saying “you’re a crybaby!” I am clearing hiding my own crybaby. If I am the one replying “takes one to know one” I have just reinforced the mask of crybaby. Both of us need each other in order to work through both sides of the judgement.
As we move into adulthood, we still secretly apply this defense as a secret way out. Every judgment, condition and the need to blame is a rejection of a part of me that I hide because to the mind it’s dangerous if anyone would ever know this about me. Although we don’t say “takes one to know one anymore” we have just adapted a new language around the same defense. Perhaps now we may say things like “oh ya? just go look in the mirror!” and perhaps even a F@!# off! These are both of clues that I am still using the line, “takes one to know one” as a defense.
In any stressful situation, there is a condition within my own mind that isn’t being met in that moment. A safety issue that’s being challenged. As children we don’t have a better way, the minds brilliant genius takes over in fear to help me adapt to my environments. From the child’s perspective most are life or death situations. As an adult I can understand that there is never any need to blame or shame this brilliant part of me, and in fact there is an opportunity to give the mind a chance to work through the safety conditions with unconditional love and gratitude for it always.
This part of us goes to great lengths and works tirelessly with fierce loyalty and the need to protect and serve you. NO other person would ever go to such great lengths for YOU! What’s not to love!
Takes one to know one is the truest of true statements! This is an opportunity to breed compassion and love for all parts of you, especially the YOU you haven’t met yet.
Krista Hurton CBP/BAT/Agent of Showthehellup
SHOWTHEHELLUP! Weekly Podcast
Check out Podcast #1 and watch our instructors
Krista Hurton, Zack Vernon and Erica Blackburn
discuss a section from our manual that
delves into selfish, selfless and
In service to Self and how it relates to COVID-19.
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When trying to explain/justify/sell to myself or others the consciousness perspective I have come to know through ShowtheHellUp! classes and workshops, it has come to my attention that there is a view beyond the benefits that my human nature wants to share with others.
One part of the view is a perspective of and from my mind, the part of me that is obsessed with validating my choices and working hard to keep me safe in the world. My mind is attached to these benefits as justification to continue doing the work, attending class and investigating my surroundings and my mind likes to arrange them this way:
I am experiencing physical benefits such as less aches and pain, less headaches, more restful sleep, nice skin, and a quicker recovery from illness and/or sore muscles.
Mentally I am experiencing a less active hamster on the wheel of my mind, and I find myself moving through mental blocks to make decisions with ease. And probably most beneficial is that once I have an awareness of the environment I have unconsciously created for myself, I have some amazing tools to consciously investigate how my thoughts became these things!
Emotionally, I am growing to appreciate and experience ALL of my emotions. My opinions of anger, joy, grief, worry and fear are changing and as a result I don’t avoid or try to hide my fear or anger or joy. Instead I recognize they are here to help me work through something that no longer serves me. I must admit it isn’t always pleasant in the midst but slowly I am embracing the ebb and flow and this place of unconditional love that I am experiencing as a “result”.
Spiritually, I am experiencing glimpses of knowing a human experience where I no longer judge who I think I am. I know that my life had to and was always going to enfold the way it has and will. This knowledge also includes how everything in my awareness is projection of me and for me and my purpose is to become aware. That’s it. To become aware.
So, my view could stop there, couldn’t it? My mind is quite satisfied with the list of results, benefits, improvements, and changes associated with a consciousness perspective. It seems like a well-rounded list. But what was brought to my attention is that there's a more whole view.
A view that is harder to name because it doesn’t need a label or justification or reward. This view doesn’t need to be categorized like I have above because it is a great universal ocean where everything and anything exists simultaneously and without a need for outcomes.
For now, I will call this the Whole View and describe it as a state of grace in my heart where my mind is so calm it doesn’t interfere or need a result. This is a view from the heart which includes it all and is all. This view comes from before my mind was formed and although not always felt, it is accessible to me at any time. And although hard to describe, I am going to try anyway because, well, I am human.
The Whole View is a place where physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aches or stresses are information. A place where there is no need for the mind to judge and where the heart simply observes. Here the view is one of rest and relax and not the fear responses fight, flight, fear or faint. This is a place where there is no risk to expressing who I think I am and how I feel because the Whole View sees it all and understands the lesson and at the same time has no need to solve or change.
Today, March 26, 2020 I am seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting and touching a global pandemic. My mental state has moments of frazzle and disbelief and my emotions flip from sadness, fear, anger and worry and then back to sadness all within five minutes. Physically, my arse is numb from sitting in on more video calls than ever before.
My mind/fear instinct is to set up schedules or make new routines and have a goal for all of this. However, within that there is a grace, one that you and I have had since before we were born, one that we will always have access to and one we continue to cultivate together by showing the hell up. COVID-19 is inviting us into its unfolding and providing you and me an opportunity to be in our hearts and to do what is in front of us because just as in the times before, what else is there to do?
Our world is changing at a rapid, almost hourly rate these last few weeks, as the dis-ease COVID-19 spreads across the world. This means we are all embarking on a totally new way to view life that may seem difficult at the moment.
Our planet Earth is undergoing a very natural evolution and we have a choice to either support her or fight her.
Our Showthehellup Team is ready to support our changing earth and YOU!
Your perspective is the biggest investment you ever make in life. Your brain, out of fear, builds it, modifies it, defends it, proves it, copes with it, etc., all in the name of safety. This becomes your truth and the lens through which you live life.
The world view through the perspective of FEAR and panic is ‘TO ME’. There is another perspective of gratitude, openness and ‘FOR ME’ through the lens of Downward Causation model that embraces the holographic universe and quantum theories.
It is my awareness that my perspective can be my biggest asset or my scariest liability!
Safety first! We say this a lot in class and today we really mean it!
We are being advised to self-isolate to keep ourselves, our neighbors, and the planet safe to flatten the curve of COVID-19. I am taking this very seriously and I hope you are too.
I can do this from fear and anger, or I can self- isolate from a place of strength and love in service to myself, and everything else.
We have shared with you so many tools to foster heart opening in service to self and strength in self-esteem, so let me remind you of these now:
CLI 5-step process (looking at small things to get a big AHHA!)
Reread the CLI guide
Get involved in our online MMW conversations and classes
Remember, how you do one thing is how you do everything!
You can count on us to find new and creative ways to consciously collaborate in a heart led fashion. At Showthehellup we are working hard this week to creatively revise how we deliver classes in the short and long term.
For now, our in-person classes everywhere except Namaste Esperanza Retreat in Nova Scotia will be postponed and rescheduled for later this year.
New exciting and interactive online class formats are going to be offered to you before the end of this month for a future filled with fun new ways to explore a conscious life with our team.
Please remember that all of our Showthehellup Team offer private sessions and online classes.
More options will be added so there is something for everyone to meet you where you are, whether you are a newbie or a veteran in this work.
We know the integral reciprocity in all of us needs to heal together with our planet.
We look forward to working together with each and every one of you as collaborative conscious stakeholders in our future.
Kelley and the Showthehellup Team
Recently, our team at Show The Hell Up took a deep dive into the discussion of mental illness, mental health and what may be beyond both of these two experiences. We discovered there is a possibility for a new experience, that we like to call “mental wealth”!
If we trace the development of the mind back to its origin, before birth, it becomes clear that the mind forms and simultaneously fear is born. It is this fear-based thinking that leads to fear-based living. When this fear grows it develops into dis-ease or illness experienced through the lens of the mind and projected into the energetic body, physical body and your environment (home, job, car, relationships, etc.).
When we attach ourselves to the dis-eases of the mind (i.e. judgements, opinions and limiting beliefs) we may start to believe we are these dis-eases. For example, I would catch myself saying “my anxiety makes me… feel this way, do this thing…”, etc. When I personalized it in this way it meant my mind identified with it and I moved further away from who I really am at my core (my essence, the deepest part of my being).
When your brain is in shock (fight, flight, faint, freeze), and your body is living from its sympathetic nervous system, there is little to no opportunity for your inborn wisdom to shine through and bring your body back to balance and harmony. Anything you do from this place of shock will not be of service to you. The reason for this is because fear is a filter through which all of your senses and your brain take in information. Your senses and brain cannot take in anything new or provide a new experience for you to have. You may try to cope and manage your symptoms (believe me, I tried them all! I was like the metaphorical chicken with her head cut off trying this and that to be well!) but that will only create a downward spiral into fixing and changing – yet the pain and fear grows bigger!
Enter consciousness-based and awareness-based practices! Here is where mental wealth has an opportunity to flourish! When you engage in basic consciousness/awareness-based activities like: BodyTalk’s Cortices, BodyTalk Access, a BodyTalk session, and Conscious Living Investigation, you shift yourself into your parasympathetic nervous system (rest, digest, repair). Now, anything you do, from this place of “wealth” will be of greater service to you! You can access your fullest potential – all possibilities!
Reach out to us and we can support you to open up your Mental Wealth! You are already wealthy! It lives inside of you!
If you have any questions about this video or article, you can contact me at:
firstname.lastname@example.org or www.ericablackburn.com
Have you been searching for something in your life but maybe aren’t so sure what it looks like? Do you feel like something is missing? Pieces in your life puzzle that don’t quite seem to fit?
Perhaps you have landed on this page for a reason? Perhaps we may have an answer to the question you are asking yourself. Maybe it’s a question that you didn’t even know you were asking? Something like…” There has to be a better way to deal with this….”
<<<enter your pain, situation, fears here >>>>
We understand pain and struggle and problems. This is actually our forte!! We can help you help yourself find the answers to these deep questions inside you and offer you real time, real life results for the situation you currently find yourself in.
Our Team leaders have all come into this work because we understand real life struggles that we experience be it on the Physical, mental, emotional ,spiritual, and energetic levels of us. We are REAL people that have experienced real life situations filled with heartbreak, loss, divorce, a diverse array of illnesses and symptoms. We understand and have been through it, and have tried all the best ways to cope and manage our way through it until we realized that there had to be a better way. Something else that we didn’t even know was a possibility……..
The CLI Program offers a path that is in Service to your higher Self, your Soul destiny safely exploring yourself through the unique lens of your own mind. This program is an invitation to take conscious responsibility for your own transformation in an unconditionally gracious way where all you need is a willingness to take action in becoming present in your own life. With this perspective you are able to playfully dive into all the clues of you that are around you. Once the mind understands that what we have been avoiding is not the truth of who we are and that we are not going to actually die by revealing this, your mind starts to soften and become a collaborator and friend in service to your love based self. This creates a playful way to change perspective and live a truly FOR ME BY ME conscious life.
We offer a LIFETIME PERSPECTIVE change. There are no problems with life itself. The perceived problems in my life lie solely in the root of the fear in my own mind. You are not alone in this! We are real people on a real team that choose to live life consciously. We are aware of the mind and its fear, and are always working to resolve the inner pain with love, compassion and understanding. No More need to cope and manage, beating around the bush or looking for a remedy to fix the issues in your tissues. YOU ARE YOUR OWN REMEDY! You already have everything you need to solve yourself. All you have to do is Show Up!
The Concept of being In total Service to Self, through courageously embracing ALL aspects of self . To bask in the true light of self perspective with no judgement and no fear. Imagine being able to step into the flow of your destiny in the unfolding universe and Learning to intimately know yourself and your own heart.
We understand the mind needs to feel safe. The mind will create many coping strategies to protect me from the pain of the core belief that I am not enough. The cost of this false belief and many others drives the FEAR in my mind to cope by trying to fix/control myself and everything else outside me.Through this fear my world becomes smaller and more constricted and has grave effects on all levels of my body. With the Fear based mind in charge I am unable to change anything and the only choice I have is to keep coping. This is exhausting and so are all the ways I try to find in order to fix it the original pain. The Fear in our minds drives us to avoid our true nature. We are inviting you to resolve the shock of the FEAR by showing the mind this is a lie, and that your heart based perspective has always been right in front of you.
Everything we do ultimately comes from conscious or unconscious fear resulting in strategies that are only in service to the minds needs, instead of your heart and universal self that has no need for anything to change. The Heart has a unique ability to embrace all as it is.The unique alchemy of your heart is the part of you that represents universal consciousness. The heart naturally transforms FEAR based pain into wisdom. Your heart can do this because of its capacity to love without conditions, judgments and non attachment to any outcome. The mind creates stagnation, the heart creates movement. You are a manifestation of the impersonal unformed universe. You are the universe having a sensory evolutionary experience inside a human suit. We invite a perspective change from a fear based “life happens to me, at me, and I have no control” to a love based perspective of self “ life happens for me by me and is unfolding as the universe.”
What we offer:
CLI in person and on-line classes
BodyTalk Classes and Sessions
BodyTalk Access Classes
ALL the Support you need if your willing.